sisterhood

Today i spent mainly time with sisters and family. the little sisters are amazing girls, in their own way. But looking back on today i think i am just starting to catch a glimpse on the incredible amount that they look up to me. I am the eldest so i have no idea what it is like to look up to a sibling, its a strange concept to me. While i have "adopted" brothers and sisters, some of which are older, i cant say i look up to them in the same amount of devotion i noted today. i love the little girls but a times i do get impatient with them and their endless questions and bountiful energy, at those points i tend to try to push them back - build a fence of protection per say - but somehow some way they always find holes in that fence and manage to get back to making me laugh and smile, no matter how grumpy i was with them. But it isn't always with out tears, in fact  sometimes its the tears that seem to melt the bars and grant them access. lol its crazy but sometimes i KNOW i am learning more from them then  i even bother to try to teach or explain to them. as i look back on today i do have some regrets - i really shouldn't make it so hard for them to love on me, and on that same note i have regrets about my elder younger brother and how i shouldn't have pushed him away so often. i want to be the best mentor/sister that i can and i know i have it in me to do it, but there is a lot of junk between that person and me today. One day at a time i suppose, but Lord knows how much dirt and grime i have to clean.  the quote for today is what i hope i truly am to all my "little" and "big" siblings

An older sister is a friend and defender - a listener, conspirator, a counsellor and a sharer of delights.  And sorrows too.  ~Pam Brown