So Its a special day ( it only comes 1 time every four years so it's considered a special day :) )
Pretty average day for me... but since its such a "special day" I suppose this is the time where i pull out some random lesson from the day and end on some random happy note... but honestly I'm not finding one...
Lets see... today: I watched a friend almost get run over by a car - Praise God the car stopped and beyond hearts racing nothing else was damaged. I guess I have a better understanding of why my friends worry about me when I take risks... Good food for thought.
Otherwise today has been Kinda draining - I love listening and helping people but maybe you can relate to the desire to wanting someone to ask you the same questions that you ask them? Example - How did you test go? (You know the one you were stressing over and asked me to pray for?) Where are you going for break? Or randomly -How is your day going? (Note: Wait and LISTEN (which is different from hearing) for an answer) yeah these questions would be nice to hear...
Whatever I will be first to call myself different, or say that go to the beat of my own drum, but I do like asking these and other "random" questions - one can learn a lot from such inquires (that and just simply paying attention.) Such as today (for a small example): I have congratulated one couple on their engagement, coached a little "brother" through his first break up, listened to one gush about her first date, and on a different note I got a slight cold shoulder from one I really respect/ look up too...puzzling and honestly a little painful oh well i will have to try to sort that one out another day.
Its a crazy life but an epic one never the less. Joy and pain its all good - for what would the brightness of stars be without the darkness of night?
Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. Ralph Waldo Emerson
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Looking forward to looking back on the memories of today
So today was pretty much amazing. 1st Developmental psych class- its my worst grade but my favorite class- I don't exactly know why that is but its okay I like it either way. Then a Geography test,,, which I'd rather not think about. Anyways, then I relaxed out under some trees and read a book ( the best homework *if there is such a thing* ever.) and then life started to get exciting.
First, I got my IDAK report back, I am pretty content with the results and I can see where it will be helpful in a possible change in my career - Anyways Im still praying about what college God wants me to stay at and where He wants me as a career choice. Its all very interesting and super exciting... ish.
Its national pancake day and iHop was giving out free pancakes for a donation to Charity. - and since Free is a college students favorite word it was music to my ears :) So I started planning a way that I and some friends could go, it looked like for awhile that it would just be Anna and I, but then things changed and we ended up scheming with Joel to get several others "kidnapped". It was LOADS of fun. The Kidnapees were fairly sure that they were gonna die, and lots of laughter ensued. - along with a fair amount of whining - Haha sometimes I think my friends turn into little kids. First they didn't like the idea of eating free pancakes, next they were talking about how Free is a college students favorite word. Silly people. Oh and of course they blamed me for the whole thing instead of either of my partners in crime... oh well I enjoyed it and in time they agreed that it was fun. :)
Its days like these, that are long, and yet so fulfilling that I know I will miss when I get don't with college and enter "adulthood". No wonder people always look back on their college years and smile. I am at the perfect time in my life to define and change my opinions and yet develop my principles of service. Life is Amazing... On a more reflective note, while I know that not every day can be as epic as today, I do know that with each new day there is epicness to be found, and so I carry on.
Change your opinions, keep to your principles; change your leaves, keep intact your roots.
Victor Hugo
First, I got my IDAK report back, I am pretty content with the results and I can see where it will be helpful in a possible change in my career - Anyways Im still praying about what college God wants me to stay at and where He wants me as a career choice. Its all very interesting and super exciting... ish.
Its national pancake day and iHop was giving out free pancakes for a donation to Charity. - and since Free is a college students favorite word it was music to my ears :) So I started planning a way that I and some friends could go, it looked like for awhile that it would just be Anna and I, but then things changed and we ended up scheming with Joel to get several others "kidnapped". It was LOADS of fun. The Kidnapees were fairly sure that they were gonna die, and lots of laughter ensued. - along with a fair amount of whining - Haha sometimes I think my friends turn into little kids. First they didn't like the idea of eating free pancakes, next they were talking about how Free is a college students favorite word. Silly people. Oh and of course they blamed me for the whole thing instead of either of my partners in crime... oh well I enjoyed it and in time they agreed that it was fun. :)
Its days like these, that are long, and yet so fulfilling that I know I will miss when I get don't with college and enter "adulthood". No wonder people always look back on their college years and smile. I am at the perfect time in my life to define and change my opinions and yet develop my principles of service. Life is Amazing... On a more reflective note, while I know that not every day can be as epic as today, I do know that with each new day there is epicness to be found, and so I carry on.
Change your opinions, keep to your principles; change your leaves, keep intact your roots.
Victor Hugo
Monday, February 27, 2012
terrifying flash backs
It was Second grade, second period, and I was facing my arch nemesis Math.
It was a simple game. about 5 problems up on the board, and 5 students selected to come forward and solve them. No problem right? Except that day I was picked to be one of the 5.
I can still remember getting up to the board and my mind went blank. I had no idea how these numbers, two separate entities, were suppose to make a totally new one. I panicked and got no where.
The room got unusually warm and I knew my face was changing colors - due to the loud mouthed kid proclaiming it from the front row. Suddenly the room started spinning, I couldn't even make out the numbers anymore, all I could hear was his accusing tone and the snickers rippling through the class, and then reverberating in my mind. Finally all the others finished and left me alone. Alone. My teacher was watching me with that terrible look I'd rather not ever remember. I finally managed to make out something on that green surface and scratch out an answer. Then I promptly make and about face, and stumble back to my seat, stumbling all the way, swearing to myself that I would avoid ever doing anything upfront like such ever again.
12 years later I am standing in a different class. Its a simple task, hit a blue orb 4 times against a white wall and make sure it lands beyond a specific red line. No biggie. Me, a confident, vibrate sophomore could do this simple skills test no problem. But all of a sudden I am not the confident vibrate sophomore in college, no instead I am that same little girl in second grade stumbling over simple math problems.
I tried 2 times with peers and teacher silently observing, both times failing in the worst of ways. My teacher sent me out and I will admit it, I almost lost it. My face was red, my eyes were watery and I was falling into a tail spin. I found a little corner under some stairs and took several deep breaths and complained to my Father about my heart rate, this stupid class, and my cursed fear. He patiently listened and while He didn't say anything per say, I knew He was there. I went to a different court and practiced a bit until a fellow student told me my teacher wanted me.
At this point I would have rather given up, however since I apparently had no choice I came back in, once again studying my shoes and stumbling, preferring that wood floor to open up and swallow me alive then have to go through this torture and embarrassment again. I braced myself for the worse and avoided my teachers gaze as I entered the court. However, I was in for a surprise. Instead of lecturing on how to hit the ball or mentioning how all the other students had passed, my teacher simply said, "You can do this Katie." With those five simple words, I started to have hope.
Whap, bounce.
"One down, 3 more to go with 4 more tries." my teacher reminded.
Whap, flop. My serve came up short, With it my confidence crumbled.
"Go again, You can do this"
I said a quick prayer and took another breath
Whap, bounce.
"Perfect!"
Whap, bounce.
"Beautiful! - Okay Just one more."
My courage faltered, I prayed again and reminded myself to breathe.
Whap, bounce.
Victory was mine.
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
Winston Churchill
It was a simple game. about 5 problems up on the board, and 5 students selected to come forward and solve them. No problem right? Except that day I was picked to be one of the 5.
I can still remember getting up to the board and my mind went blank. I had no idea how these numbers, two separate entities, were suppose to make a totally new one. I panicked and got no where.
The room got unusually warm and I knew my face was changing colors - due to the loud mouthed kid proclaiming it from the front row. Suddenly the room started spinning, I couldn't even make out the numbers anymore, all I could hear was his accusing tone and the snickers rippling through the class, and then reverberating in my mind. Finally all the others finished and left me alone. Alone. My teacher was watching me with that terrible look I'd rather not ever remember. I finally managed to make out something on that green surface and scratch out an answer. Then I promptly make and about face, and stumble back to my seat, stumbling all the way, swearing to myself that I would avoid ever doing anything upfront like such ever again.
12 years later I am standing in a different class. Its a simple task, hit a blue orb 4 times against a white wall and make sure it lands beyond a specific red line. No biggie. Me, a confident, vibrate sophomore could do this simple skills test no problem. But all of a sudden I am not the confident vibrate sophomore in college, no instead I am that same little girl in second grade stumbling over simple math problems.
I tried 2 times with peers and teacher silently observing, both times failing in the worst of ways. My teacher sent me out and I will admit it, I almost lost it. My face was red, my eyes were watery and I was falling into a tail spin. I found a little corner under some stairs and took several deep breaths and complained to my Father about my heart rate, this stupid class, and my cursed fear. He patiently listened and while He didn't say anything per say, I knew He was there. I went to a different court and practiced a bit until a fellow student told me my teacher wanted me.
At this point I would have rather given up, however since I apparently had no choice I came back in, once again studying my shoes and stumbling, preferring that wood floor to open up and swallow me alive then have to go through this torture and embarrassment again. I braced myself for the worse and avoided my teachers gaze as I entered the court. However, I was in for a surprise. Instead of lecturing on how to hit the ball or mentioning how all the other students had passed, my teacher simply said, "You can do this Katie." With those five simple words, I started to have hope.
Whap, bounce.
"One down, 3 more to go with 4 more tries." my teacher reminded.
Whap, flop. My serve came up short, With it my confidence crumbled.
"Go again, You can do this"
I said a quick prayer and took another breath
Whap, bounce.
"Perfect!"
Whap, bounce.
"Beautiful! - Okay Just one more."
My courage faltered, I prayed again and reminded myself to breathe.
Whap, bounce.
Victory was mine.
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
Winston Churchill
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Wishing on stars...
So today was pretty much filled with a fight between sleeping and studying... studying came out with a higher percentage but the sleep did pretty good :) but anyways on to what is more important than my average Sunday...
There's a song called "Airplanes" that is pretty popular - why? Because it addresses a key element in life- Wishing. Now then before anyone gets on YouTube to look it up, I want to warn you it is not Christian - and actually i really don't recommend the full song - there are multiple versions some that are more kosher than others but anyways the course of the song is pretty simple (and happens to be the only part that gets stuck in my head...
"Can we pretend that airplanes, in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now..."
(* note: Yes I know that "shooting stars"are burning chunks of space material, but as my friends pointed out that does not rhyme nor is it as pretty so geeky people please ignore the misnomer here and try to focus) The song echos in a desire to wish, to hope, for something based on an inanimate object, and from our worldly/ secular culture this is fairly acceptable, especially for children but in certain situations for adults as well. At the end of the day, we all have times where we long for something else. something more, and some people really believe that wishing on stars (or airplanes) will make a difference.While I am not going to bash their ideas, for I will readily admit that when I was a little girl, I wished on stars, but I also did something else, I prayed.
Its interesting to see how while the world may scoff at prayer and talking to One who is unseen, yet they too have a inward desire for something more, to the point of even wishing on stars. I am lucky, I know about wishing on stars, and at times I still do, but I also know more importantly about He who made them. Get this, not only do I know about Him, I Know Him, and I know that He loves me. - So yeah I can wish on stars, its nostalgic, and hope is good, but at the end of the day, while I don't know the future and when all I have for now is a random box of dreams kept safely inside, I do know the One Holds the future and who has my dreams planed out on a canvass of reality.
"Gods Promises are like the stars, the darker the night the brighter they shine" ~ David Nicholas.
There's a song called "Airplanes" that is pretty popular - why? Because it addresses a key element in life- Wishing. Now then before anyone gets on YouTube to look it up, I want to warn you it is not Christian - and actually i really don't recommend the full song - there are multiple versions some that are more kosher than others but anyways the course of the song is pretty simple (and happens to be the only part that gets stuck in my head...
"Can we pretend that airplanes, in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now..."
(* note: Yes I know that "shooting stars"are burning chunks of space material, but as my friends pointed out that does not rhyme nor is it as pretty so geeky people please ignore the misnomer here and try to focus) The song echos in a desire to wish, to hope, for something based on an inanimate object, and from our worldly/ secular culture this is fairly acceptable, especially for children but in certain situations for adults as well. At the end of the day, we all have times where we long for something else. something more, and some people really believe that wishing on stars (or airplanes) will make a difference.While I am not going to bash their ideas, for I will readily admit that when I was a little girl, I wished on stars, but I also did something else, I prayed.
Its interesting to see how while the world may scoff at prayer and talking to One who is unseen, yet they too have a inward desire for something more, to the point of even wishing on stars. I am lucky, I know about wishing on stars, and at times I still do, but I also know more importantly about He who made them. Get this, not only do I know about Him, I Know Him, and I know that He loves me. - So yeah I can wish on stars, its nostalgic, and hope is good, but at the end of the day, while I don't know the future and when all I have for now is a random box of dreams kept safely inside, I do know the One Holds the future and who has my dreams planed out on a canvass of reality.
"Gods Promises are like the stars, the darker the night the brighter they shine" ~ David Nicholas.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Sabbath!
Life is amazing :) I love sabbath. SOO much today started out a bit rushed ( Anna and I ended up eating ramen on the way to church) Then we were being random but helpful *I think* in Sabbath school (Okay so most of the time we just sat there but we were there for moral support!! :) Church was interesting. (Hospitality is key... I should learn to do it more often... more on this later...) Then Lunch in the cafe with friends...food quality was lacking but the company was great :) a certain person has no idea what I did to his phone mmwahaha :) then we went on a walk to the imagination station and back, with plenty of laughter, joking and smiles all around. then i crashed for about 30 min only to be encouraged to go to Heldzingers and play games. I drove there thinking that I wouldn't stay long, but what can I say, it was too much fun and was much more interesting than homework or being a loner so we stayed there for a while playing games like "Honey if you love me...", Never have I ever, and Psychiatrist, It was great.
But speaking of games. The game "Honey if you love me won't you please please smile" is lots of fun but there are some general tips for avoiding smiling. It has been said that the Eyes are the portals to the soul, and while I wouldn't say it that dramatically, they are pretty key. If i avoid eye contact, then i can tune out their voices and in general/ most cases avoid smiling all together. The only problem with this technique is that some would call it cheating, and I suppose it is, but at the same time I had no desire to be asking people to smile at me, so I stubbornly held my base and got to avoid that awkward situation. :P
In other news it was plenty of fun observing people as they played though. You can learn a lot about people, namely positive things, when they let their guards down and are enjoying themselves. And tonight especially I saw so many good traits of people that don't always have a chance to shine due to the dullness of daily life. (examples being, I know one person who has a crush or at least interest in another, I know of one person who can stand his ground - more so than I thought previously, I know a few people who know me maybe a little better than I thought (naming things that I do enjoy, yet wouldn't be first to admit), and I watched someone who was introvertedly inclined bloom and relax with a bunch of strangers (well at least I was a stranger he might have known others...) but anyways at the end of the day people are interesting and watching them throughout the day can tell you a lot about them.
Couple the above lessons with the sermon lesson on hospitality and a person could make a huge difference in visitor dealings at church (and with life in general) Just imagine it a world where one was naturally inclined to actually took time to know, and observe people, and also be dedicated to change it (for the better of course), how different from our own society and world this "imaginary" world would be. Or let me make this more personal. What If I were take time to look for a need, and then fill it, how different my life would be. Simple lessons.
Back of every mistaken venture and defeat is the laughter of wisdom, if you listen.
Carl Sandburg
But speaking of games. The game "Honey if you love me won't you please please smile" is lots of fun but there are some general tips for avoiding smiling. It has been said that the Eyes are the portals to the soul, and while I wouldn't say it that dramatically, they are pretty key. If i avoid eye contact, then i can tune out their voices and in general/ most cases avoid smiling all together. The only problem with this technique is that some would call it cheating, and I suppose it is, but at the same time I had no desire to be asking people to smile at me, so I stubbornly held my base and got to avoid that awkward situation. :P
In other news it was plenty of fun observing people as they played though. You can learn a lot about people, namely positive things, when they let their guards down and are enjoying themselves. And tonight especially I saw so many good traits of people that don't always have a chance to shine due to the dullness of daily life. (examples being, I know one person who has a crush or at least interest in another, I know of one person who can stand his ground - more so than I thought previously, I know a few people who know me maybe a little better than I thought (naming things that I do enjoy, yet wouldn't be first to admit), and I watched someone who was introvertedly inclined bloom and relax with a bunch of strangers (well at least I was a stranger he might have known others...) but anyways at the end of the day people are interesting and watching them throughout the day can tell you a lot about them.
Couple the above lessons with the sermon lesson on hospitality and a person could make a huge difference in visitor dealings at church (and with life in general) Just imagine it a world where one was naturally inclined to actually took time to know, and observe people, and also be dedicated to change it (for the better of course), how different from our own society and world this "imaginary" world would be. Or let me make this more personal. What If I were take time to look for a need, and then fill it, how different my life would be. Simple lessons.
Back of every mistaken venture and defeat is the laughter of wisdom, if you listen.
Carl Sandburg
Friday, February 24, 2012
Friday!
Ah!! I'm so happy its Friday. I really don't know how other people go on without a break or a rest. I am so happy to just chill.
Today was pretty good, started it off with morning stuff, then went to work, I got to exercise via fun and friendly sports this afternoon and then worship and bible study this evening. Today was pretty nicely balanced as far as that goes.
So the best things about most Fridays for me is vespers. I LOVE it :) but tonight i was not in the right mood for the speaker (actually idk if i ever would be in the right mood for him) he was as he put it a "gangsta" pastor. With various smart witty remarks and various jokes he wooed most of the audience into a light borderline of mocking atmosphere. It really irritated me for the majority of the time but a friend reminded me to try to listen to get something out of it. And surprisingly *or maybe not so surprisingly* I did. The concept of how free we really are, in Jesus that is. When He died he gave all for us and paid for all sins that we have done, and might/will do, if we accept His gift. Its that's simple. We are free in Him, yet we live a life of bondage. I had some time to reflect afterwards, and honestly what I see in myself is not pretty. I get grumpy and snippy with people, my words hurt more than heal, and in general I can be a really mean person in many little ways. (and several big ones). Also while maintaining a happy outward appearance, I can fume on the inside (of which there is evidence here on this blog) Yet, my journey, my life isn't about all of the mistakes and failures, nor is it about my success' and victories. It isn't about what I can and cant do. Rather It is all about Him. About His life changing power, and the fact that He is the "author and finisher of my faith". It is about His ability and willingness to dedicate time to spend molding and shaping me.
Hmm Simple truth, yet one I often forget.
He has a path for me, one that is uncut and unique to my life, He wants to guide me down it, but in the end its my choice to accept His grace and be dedicated to change...
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Today was pretty good, started it off with morning stuff, then went to work, I got to exercise via fun and friendly sports this afternoon and then worship and bible study this evening. Today was pretty nicely balanced as far as that goes.
So the best things about most Fridays for me is vespers. I LOVE it :) but tonight i was not in the right mood for the speaker (actually idk if i ever would be in the right mood for him) he was as he put it a "gangsta" pastor. With various smart witty remarks and various jokes he wooed most of the audience into a light borderline of mocking atmosphere. It really irritated me for the majority of the time but a friend reminded me to try to listen to get something out of it. And surprisingly *or maybe not so surprisingly* I did. The concept of how free we really are, in Jesus that is. When He died he gave all for us and paid for all sins that we have done, and might/will do, if we accept His gift. Its that's simple. We are free in Him, yet we live a life of bondage. I had some time to reflect afterwards, and honestly what I see in myself is not pretty. I get grumpy and snippy with people, my words hurt more than heal, and in general I can be a really mean person in many little ways. (and several big ones). Also while maintaining a happy outward appearance, I can fume on the inside (of which there is evidence here on this blog) Yet, my journey, my life isn't about all of the mistakes and failures, nor is it about my success' and victories. It isn't about what I can and cant do. Rather It is all about Him. About His life changing power, and the fact that He is the "author and finisher of my faith". It is about His ability and willingness to dedicate time to spend molding and shaping me.
Hmm Simple truth, yet one I often forget.
He has a path for me, one that is uncut and unique to my life, He wants to guide me down it, but in the end its my choice to accept His grace and be dedicated to change...
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Busy life
Well over the last few days I have been busy. Classes, studying, tutoring for cute little elementary kids, working, visiting old bible study contact etc etc. Its been a crazy rush of events leading up to the weekend and I am happy for the survival of each day :)
"Let us, then be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labour and to wait."
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
"Let us, then be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labour and to wait."
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Questions
Today I did an assignment in Intro to Ministry. (I should have done it LONG before class but I ended up cramming :S ops) Anyways the idea behind the assignment was to map out my life, and see where and what God had/is lining up. And (just how it seems to be in so many areas of my life) I came away with more questions than answers.
lol It was comforting to see that there might be a pattern, one of absolute randomness!
But on a more serious note I can see where He has a plan. I don't see where my future is heading due to shadows. However shadows are only reactions that prove that there is light - somewhere. So as long as there is Light, and as long as He's there, then I know it will be okay. - Its complicated but even with all the unanswered questions of why all the pain, I feel reflective, and like I'm on a roller coaster of emotions, yet in the end I think I am at peace.
Trust doesn't mean that the problem/pain is gone instantly, rather it means sitting back and letting go of trying to drive and fix it on your own; letting Someone else take the wheel.
"What if Your blessings come through raindrops? What if Your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know Your near? What if Trials in this life, are Your mercies in Disguise?" - Laura Story "Blessings"
lol It was comforting to see that there might be a pattern, one of absolute randomness!
But on a more serious note I can see where He has a plan. I don't see where my future is heading due to shadows. However shadows are only reactions that prove that there is light - somewhere. So as long as there is Light, and as long as He's there, then I know it will be okay. - Its complicated but even with all the unanswered questions of why all the pain, I feel reflective, and like I'm on a roller coaster of emotions, yet in the end I think I am at peace.
Trust doesn't mean that the problem/pain is gone instantly, rather it means sitting back and letting go of trying to drive and fix it on your own; letting Someone else take the wheel.
"What if Your blessings come through raindrops? What if Your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know Your near? What if Trials in this life, are Your mercies in Disguise?" - Laura Story "Blessings"
Monday, February 20, 2012
Friends
So honestly for the first part of the day i was pretty sure i wasn't going to have anything good to write on here - life went from bad to worse to terrible multiple times :P bleck it was miserable. The up part of this morning was getting the joy of some random fun surprise like stuff from the night before, but that got avalanched by life pretty quickly... (stupid devil)
ANYWAYS I really don't want to think about this morning it was the later part of the day that was good. Racquetball was fun, but the better part was afterwards playing with 2 guys -I was beaten terribly but went down giggling and laughing on the inside all the same. Then I took off running to be a "fake" patient in my friends' class.
I was suppose to be a client for a counselor and have some random problem that they were suppose to figure out etc. So I decided that I was a lonely nerd who didn't have any friends. As we went through the steps of the interview I became so thankful for the fact that I DO have friends :) I have an amazing roomate, Great mentors, good friends to talk over serious things with, great friends that come and talk to me, and then the best are the ones where I can laugh and relax around. (lol and several people fit into all these categories - cept the roommate haha OK i suppose only ONE fits ALL, but anyways.) Honestly i know that everyone thinks that they have the "best" set of friends but sorry my epic friends top it. My amazing mix of both the friends here locally and the amazingly loyal ones from my past are amazing treasures that I Know I could not live without. And so, I am super thankful.
But you know what. I would be really blind if i didn't mention my best friend. Hes the one who patiently listened to me gripe about my morning and even beg to be sick (lol), He also listened as I grumbled about the cards of life, locked myself in the castle of Giant Despair and cried out a self pity party. But here's the best part, the entire time He didn't judge or condemn me. (although I do think He laughed a little at my ridiculous logical fallacies), Nope He just listened and then "sang" or rather played a song, "You are loved" by Josh Groban. <3 it was just what i needed and after about the 3rd time listening, and finally surrendering/apologizing and Accepting, My day turned for the better... :)
He's the best, and I love Him, because He first loved me.
A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.
Elbert Hubbard
ANYWAYS I really don't want to think about this morning it was the later part of the day that was good. Racquetball was fun, but the better part was afterwards playing with 2 guys -I was beaten terribly but went down giggling and laughing on the inside all the same. Then I took off running to be a "fake" patient in my friends' class.
I was suppose to be a client for a counselor and have some random problem that they were suppose to figure out etc. So I decided that I was a lonely nerd who didn't have any friends. As we went through the steps of the interview I became so thankful for the fact that I DO have friends :) I have an amazing roomate, Great mentors, good friends to talk over serious things with, great friends that come and talk to me, and then the best are the ones where I can laugh and relax around. (lol and several people fit into all these categories - cept the roommate haha OK i suppose only ONE fits ALL, but anyways.) Honestly i know that everyone thinks that they have the "best" set of friends but sorry my epic friends top it. My amazing mix of both the friends here locally and the amazingly loyal ones from my past are amazing treasures that I Know I could not live without. And so, I am super thankful.
But you know what. I would be really blind if i didn't mention my best friend. Hes the one who patiently listened to me gripe about my morning and even beg to be sick (lol), He also listened as I grumbled about the cards of life, locked myself in the castle of Giant Despair and cried out a self pity party. But here's the best part, the entire time He didn't judge or condemn me. (although I do think He laughed a little at my ridiculous logical fallacies), Nope He just listened and then "sang" or rather played a song, "You are loved" by Josh Groban. <3 it was just what i needed and after about the 3rd time listening, and finally surrendering/apologizing and Accepting, My day turned for the better... :)
He's the best, and I love Him, because He first loved me.
A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.
Elbert Hubbard
Sunday, February 19, 2012
:)
Today was super amazing. First off a Super nice mother daughter banquet this AM with my mom :) it was nice to get all dressed up - get our picture taken, chit chat and just chill. Then we went to the aquarium !! :) it was soo cool !! lots of epic fish and we got to pet stingrays etc :) I really enjoyed it :)
Im tired and the more sleep i get to night the better this week will be. Oh on a random note a quote i heard this weekend (not even sure when or who said it)
"Don't just settle for anyone, marry only someone you cannot live without" ~ unknown - but so true... <3
Im tired and the more sleep i get to night the better this week will be. Oh on a random note a quote i heard this weekend (not even sure when or who said it)
"Don't just settle for anyone, marry only someone you cannot live without" ~ unknown - but so true... <3
Saturday, February 18, 2012
A defense
Okay so before i move on to my defense - i want to say today was pretty amazing - my mom is here to visit so we enjoyed the mother daughter talks and then Doug Bachelor, later in the evening we hung out with friends and watched a movie with a bunch of friends called Hidden in Silence. It was great.
Now then on to my defense. twice today 2 things were called to my attention and I was caught off guard as to why i have my opinions on these 2 topics. I do not know if i will have time to address them both tonight but I will do my best.
First a disclaimer: While I am not saying that people must watch the news, I feel compelled to explain why I choose to simply because I had to listen to someone (kindly) explain to me why it was better not to and all the benefits of being naive of this world of sin and how "people who don't know the news are less depressed" etc. and - Good for them I'm glad that they have an opinion and can share it so pointedly - most people do things for mindless reasons and never bother to figure out why, so bravo.
However I too have reasons as to why knowing what is going on in our world is important. And since I was not given the opportunity to share in that context you have the joy of reading it here- if you so choose....
For years people never knew what was going on in this world, and so with no news, and no recording of history we have hundreds of years of straight repetitious turmoil. Civilization had no way of "learning from others mistakes" and so in a very literal sense nothing was new under the sun. But then came the Babylonians, Medo-perisan, Greece and Rome. It was from these civilizations that the ideas of 1 regional/well recognized language, the keeping of Libraries - stocked full of ideas, theories and the writings of oracle history, and even several key pillars of our organized government today. It wasn't until History was being taken, and news was being written that humanity pulled its way out of our vicious cycle.
Its a privileged to be able to have radios, newspapers, and television to know what is going on in our world. WWII wasn't too long ago and in German territory radios and such would be confiscated and were illegal, yet many people hid them and got in trouble for doing so... Why would Germany care? because they knew the power of the news, the power of knowledge.
If people don't want to make use of that freedom we have, fine, but don't be hating on my open mind. I know what is going on in my world so that I can have the choice to make a difference. I Know that there was an attempted attack on our capital today but praise God it was foiled and peoples lives were spared.I know about Syria, and how the government is slaughtering their people, i know that the UN is debating on their level of involvement and I am praying for those leaders. But if I don't know how can I ask? How can I write my representative and let me voice be heard if I don't know what they are voting on? And finally, without knowledge of the past and of the present, how can I help led and mold the next generation in their navigating of this crazy world? I Can't if I don't know.
Its late I will address my other topic tomorrow.... Goodnight.
Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
Confucius
Now then on to my defense. twice today 2 things were called to my attention and I was caught off guard as to why i have my opinions on these 2 topics. I do not know if i will have time to address them both tonight but I will do my best.
First a disclaimer: While I am not saying that people must watch the news, I feel compelled to explain why I choose to simply because I had to listen to someone (kindly) explain to me why it was better not to and all the benefits of being naive of this world of sin and how "people who don't know the news are less depressed" etc. and - Good for them I'm glad that they have an opinion and can share it so pointedly - most people do things for mindless reasons and never bother to figure out why, so bravo.
However I too have reasons as to why knowing what is going on in our world is important. And since I was not given the opportunity to share in that context you have the joy of reading it here- if you so choose....
For years people never knew what was going on in this world, and so with no news, and no recording of history we have hundreds of years of straight repetitious turmoil. Civilization had no way of "learning from others mistakes" and so in a very literal sense nothing was new under the sun. But then came the Babylonians, Medo-perisan, Greece and Rome. It was from these civilizations that the ideas of 1 regional/well recognized language, the keeping of Libraries - stocked full of ideas, theories and the writings of oracle history, and even several key pillars of our organized government today. It wasn't until History was being taken, and news was being written that humanity pulled its way out of our vicious cycle.
Its a privileged to be able to have radios, newspapers, and television to know what is going on in our world. WWII wasn't too long ago and in German territory radios and such would be confiscated and were illegal, yet many people hid them and got in trouble for doing so... Why would Germany care? because they knew the power of the news, the power of knowledge.
If people don't want to make use of that freedom we have, fine, but don't be hating on my open mind. I know what is going on in my world so that I can have the choice to make a difference. I Know that there was an attempted attack on our capital today but praise God it was foiled and peoples lives were spared.I know about Syria, and how the government is slaughtering their people, i know that the UN is debating on their level of involvement and I am praying for those leaders. But if I don't know how can I ask? How can I write my representative and let me voice be heard if I don't know what they are voting on? And finally, without knowledge of the past and of the present, how can I help led and mold the next generation in their navigating of this crazy world? I Can't if I don't know.
Its late I will address my other topic tomorrow.... Goodnight.
Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
Confucius
Friday, February 17, 2012
Trees.
As I took off on my weekly Friday evening walk I didn't quite have a place in mind. This week has been challenging In several areas and while I know that growing is good - it is also exhausting.
So as I started out I wandered a bit before seeing a favorite tree of mine. The only problem being That some random happy couple was nearby. I figured That if I moved quickly they wouldn't notice or care so I made a beeline for it.
As I started my accent I hear the guy exclaim, " there's a dude in the tree!" his girlfriend didn't belie him but he kept on insisting and finally asked " dude! Why are you in That tree?" I dryly responded with a slight drawl " well probably because I like to be in trees..." his supplies at me being a girl was pretty much audible as he mumbled an apology an and excuse " it's kinda weird to see someone in a tree" he said more to himself than to me. I took the initiate and responded " well, I will be among the first to say that I am a little different."
As I enjoyed my time up about 25-30 feet above ground. It some ways it felt like I had left my troubles all down at the roots, while I was nestled closer to the stars. I finally felt at rest. Sabbath is here and now I can just relax, stopping worrying about school a grades and just be at peace.
As I continued my reflecting and talking time with my heavenly Father I realized something: yes I was a really at rest but that did not mean that all my troubles are gone. I am at peace despite my trials, not because they have left. And so the promise of peace from God to me is now all the more tangible and applicable to my life :) it's sabbath and I am relaxing in His live and His promises.
"I think it's naive to pray for world peace if we're not going to change the form in which we live." ~ Godfry Reggio
So as I started out I wandered a bit before seeing a favorite tree of mine. The only problem being That some random happy couple was nearby. I figured That if I moved quickly they wouldn't notice or care so I made a beeline for it.
As I started my accent I hear the guy exclaim, " there's a dude in the tree!" his girlfriend didn't belie him but he kept on insisting and finally asked " dude! Why are you in That tree?" I dryly responded with a slight drawl " well probably because I like to be in trees..." his supplies at me being a girl was pretty much audible as he mumbled an apology an and excuse " it's kinda weird to see someone in a tree" he said more to himself than to me. I took the initiate and responded " well, I will be among the first to say that I am a little different."
As I enjoyed my time up about 25-30 feet above ground. It some ways it felt like I had left my troubles all down at the roots, while I was nestled closer to the stars. I finally felt at rest. Sabbath is here and now I can just relax, stopping worrying about school a grades and just be at peace.
As I continued my reflecting and talking time with my heavenly Father I realized something: yes I was a really at rest but that did not mean that all my troubles are gone. I am at peace despite my trials, not because they have left. And so the promise of peace from God to me is now all the more tangible and applicable to my life :) it's sabbath and I am relaxing in His live and His promises.
"I think it's naive to pray for world peace if we're not going to change the form in which we live." ~ Godfry Reggio
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Fears.
Throughout History Fear has been used by great leaders - with bad intentions - to do horrible things. Its an incredible incubator for action. Fear has driven both the car of success and doom. Fears, crazy little shadows that play with ones mind... They have this nifty way of affecting my ability to live various aspects of life.
A friend the other day in a sort of random way (well its probably only random because i cannot remember the conversation before this) said that they were afraid of the dark. I asked maybe one or two questions but pretty much dropped the topic. I keep kicking myself for it though, because think about it what does it take to admit fears ?
We all have fear and yet we live a mask of a life that says "I'm Okay". It takes courage to open up, be honest and say what terrifies me. And yet more recently I have found it is easier in someways just to be honest. Just to open up and say what you need to say, get it out. Then be strong and courageous enough to pick up the pieces and face the fears and drive them, instead of the other way around.
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
Mark Twain
A friend the other day in a sort of random way (well its probably only random because i cannot remember the conversation before this) said that they were afraid of the dark. I asked maybe one or two questions but pretty much dropped the topic. I keep kicking myself for it though, because think about it what does it take to admit fears ?
We all have fear and yet we live a mask of a life that says "I'm Okay". It takes courage to open up, be honest and say what terrifies me. And yet more recently I have found it is easier in someways just to be honest. Just to open up and say what you need to say, get it out. Then be strong and courageous enough to pick up the pieces and face the fears and drive them, instead of the other way around.
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
Mark Twain
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Long day
Long busy day. I am exhausted. Goodnight.
"gotta face the clouds to see the silver lining" - kutless " that's what faith can do"
"gotta face the clouds to see the silver lining" - kutless " that's what faith can do"
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Cards
So a fair amount of time today has been dedicated to hatching my roommate and mine plan to fight S.A.D (Single Awareness Day) blues. Over the pan of about 4 days we spent spare time at the library making a total of 10 ish cards to give to people :) Most of them anonymously. Early this morning after wraping them and getting plenty of tape I scurried from door to door (and in one case car) to deliver our randomness. Then we sat back, waiting for the response. . .
We waited most of the day. :P Finally the guys (we had left their cards on the car due to our inability to get into their dorm) texted us thanking us for the cards - we acted like we knew nothing about it, asking questions and defending ourselves quite nicely. However, these 3 apparently know us pretty well and charged us guilty for giving them cards, haha it was fun to banter back and forth though (at least for us, we were dying of laughter with each crazy excuse and random question.) One guy whom i have known for a LONG time just knew that it was us and would NOT back down, the other was fairly determined but decided to give us a faint shadow of a doubt, and the third didn't say much at all - (His was the one my roommate poked the most fun at - I do hope he didn't take it personally) It was great fun.
To date the others that we gave cards too have not really figured it out - at least I have heard mention if it so maybe they will just be happy without knowing - which is perfectly fine :)
Oh and one more thing - did I get my special flower? YES :) -
Today I received beautiful flowers from both sets of parents (and they were SUPER beautiful) but I KNEW my heavenly Father had one Just for me for me . . . somewhere. . . and so just near the end of the day there was one rose that had been tossed (or dropped) to the side of the sidewalk. It was a beautiful long stemmed red rose ( though slightly bruised) and something about its unique beauty caught my eye. To some it may appear as a rejected rose, one forgotten or despised, but right when I saw it, I could just hear my Father emphasis the beauty in the broken things, and how He would never leave me but rather use me (no matter how bruised) to bring joy to others ( the quote for today sums it up nicely)
Anyways, it made me super happy :)
The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.
Victor Hugo
We waited most of the day. :P Finally the guys (we had left their cards on the car due to our inability to get into their dorm) texted us thanking us for the cards - we acted like we knew nothing about it, asking questions and defending ourselves quite nicely. However, these 3 apparently know us pretty well and charged us guilty for giving them cards, haha it was fun to banter back and forth though (at least for us, we were dying of laughter with each crazy excuse and random question.) One guy whom i have known for a LONG time just knew that it was us and would NOT back down, the other was fairly determined but decided to give us a faint shadow of a doubt, and the third didn't say much at all - (His was the one my roommate poked the most fun at - I do hope he didn't take it personally) It was great fun.
To date the others that we gave cards too have not really figured it out - at least I have heard mention if it so maybe they will just be happy without knowing - which is perfectly fine :)
Oh and one more thing - did I get my special flower? YES :) -
Today I received beautiful flowers from both sets of parents (and they were SUPER beautiful) but I KNEW my heavenly Father had one Just for me for me . . . somewhere. . . and so just near the end of the day there was one rose that had been tossed (or dropped) to the side of the sidewalk. It was a beautiful long stemmed red rose ( though slightly bruised) and something about its unique beauty caught my eye. To some it may appear as a rejected rose, one forgotten or despised, but right when I saw it, I could just hear my Father emphasis the beauty in the broken things, and how He would never leave me but rather use me (no matter how bruised) to bring joy to others ( the quote for today sums it up nicely)
Anyways, it made me super happy :)
The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.
Victor Hugo
Monday, February 13, 2012
Flowers
I Like flowers, pretty much as much as most any girl. I have received flowers from several key people in my life. And each memory of the the gift has a special place in my memory. However there is one that stands out above the others.
It was a hot summer day in Eastern Washington. I was going door to door offering books to anyone that would bother to listen. Most did not.
My mind was swirling on various topics but one impartiality was standing out, a theory of unending loneliness. I am a helpless romantic, in my personal musings. A whole slew of kids in our team had hooked up, which is fairly normal. And just as normal, there were several of us left out, and I was one of them.
My mind wandered to all the cute little things I had observed my friends through the years do for their love at that time. Cards, candy, whispered conversations of deepest trust, and flowers. All little tokens of a relationship that was specially set from all the others. Each respected party had found, and chosen the other - and my little romantic side melted.
As I trudged on to the next house I started just talking to God, complaining, whining, and begging. I wasn't asking for much was I? just for someone to choose me, take time to get to know me, and love me anyway... was that so hard? He listened patiently as I rode my roller coaster of emotions - pretty much thwarting my work at each door due to lack of complete focus.
"I just want someone who cares for me Father!! Someone who listens to my crazy ideas and dreams and yet doesn't think i'm insane but rather joins me! Oh and I want someone who will randomly give me flowers - not necessarily store bought - just because" And that was when He stopped listening, and said one sentence that changed my perspective forever.
"Look at those roses. They are my "Just because" flowers for you today"
I stopped right there in my tracks and stares. Theses roses were beautiful, red, full, and smelled like heaven. I was over joyed and started crying happy tears. I quickly appologized for all my complaining and re submitted my heart to His care (Its His job to find the right person for me, not mine).
Now then, since this experience have I every complained again? Most definitely . I am a very forgetful person which is sad in more ways than one... I don't mean to be ungrateful. But one of the best thing about my Heavenly Father is that His patience outlasts my forgetfulness. Oh and you want to know the Best thing? - His never ending Love. <3
And so tomorrow is Single awareness day, and yes it will probably be annoying, but at least I know I will get flowers from the One who: choose me long ago, planned my life out and cares enough to help me make it, and who will love me for eternity no matter how many mistakes I make :) <3
Earth laughs in flowers.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
It was a hot summer day in Eastern Washington. I was going door to door offering books to anyone that would bother to listen. Most did not.
My mind was swirling on various topics but one impartiality was standing out, a theory of unending loneliness. I am a helpless romantic, in my personal musings. A whole slew of kids in our team had hooked up, which is fairly normal. And just as normal, there were several of us left out, and I was one of them.
My mind wandered to all the cute little things I had observed my friends through the years do for their love at that time. Cards, candy, whispered conversations of deepest trust, and flowers. All little tokens of a relationship that was specially set from all the others. Each respected party had found, and chosen the other - and my little romantic side melted.
As I trudged on to the next house I started just talking to God, complaining, whining, and begging. I wasn't asking for much was I? just for someone to choose me, take time to get to know me, and love me anyway... was that so hard? He listened patiently as I rode my roller coaster of emotions - pretty much thwarting my work at each door due to lack of complete focus.
"I just want someone who cares for me Father!! Someone who listens to my crazy ideas and dreams and yet doesn't think i'm insane but rather joins me! Oh and I want someone who will randomly give me flowers - not necessarily store bought - just because" And that was when He stopped listening, and said one sentence that changed my perspective forever.
"Look at those roses. They are my "Just because" flowers for you today"
I stopped right there in my tracks and stares. Theses roses were beautiful, red, full, and smelled like heaven. I was over joyed and started crying happy tears. I quickly appologized for all my complaining and re submitted my heart to His care (Its His job to find the right person for me, not mine).
Now then, since this experience have I every complained again? Most definitely . I am a very forgetful person which is sad in more ways than one... I don't mean to be ungrateful. But one of the best thing about my Heavenly Father is that His patience outlasts my forgetfulness. Oh and you want to know the Best thing? - His never ending Love. <3
And so tomorrow is Single awareness day, and yes it will probably be annoying, but at least I know I will get flowers from the One who: choose me long ago, planned my life out and cares enough to help me make it, and who will love me for eternity no matter how many mistakes I make :) <3
Earth laughs in flowers.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Laughter
Okay so I didn't avoid it all day... i got the necessities done and a little extra studying but otherwise I happened to find various AMAZING ways to avoid Homework Completely :)
first off after doing homework for about 3 hours I played air soft with some friends. We got two rounds done when my more responsible friend (and driver) decided that homework was an important part of the day for a college student (he's right of course...) So after doing homework and taking a nap (lol a very good way to avoid homework because most of the time you don't even think about it as you venture around in dream land)
After that I decided that doing something randomly fun for my roomie (who had been more studious then myself) would be a great idea. Then it occurred to me that while doing something non scholarly like, we could cheer up another friend who is currently bed ridden. THEN i happened to text a friend whom i was praying would have some epic experiences today - for whatever reason - God knows why- what i had envisioned didn't happen (actually quite the opposite occurred) So I had the perfect ingredients for a fun filled evening - do something random that will incur plenty of laughter from all three friend - thus hitting 3 birds with one stone.
So in short I planned with my roommate (she has the most amazing ability to take my most hair brained ideas and turn them into feasible realities ) and we hatched a plan of epic proportions. I convinced my somewhat disappointed friend (although he'd never tell you that) to come to our unnamed destination. And texted the bed ridden one to make sure she was up. Now all that was left to be accomplished was actually accomplishing the goal - laughter.
Laughter is the warm sparkling sunbeams to a day (and NO not all sunbeams are warm and sparkly) We all laughed as we teased him about being our prisoner, Lost him in Walmart (or more of he tried to escape) and blindfolded him as we got closer to our destination and finally as we made him "march" through the apartment complex blindfolded. We giggled as we ate ice cream, stole phones, took goofy pictures and make a ridiculous animal cracker movie centering on the theme of the nearest holiday.
It was amazing. Oh but there was one more surprise in it, however this one was for me. More than just my 3 friends were cheered up, I was as well. and Perhaps more so. Because with my cheer, comes a sense of satisfaction that runs deep. I can make people happy - ie not just be a bother or a doormat. It feels good to laugh and for the record I have the most amazing friends :) God is good.
All you need in the world is love and laughter. That's all anybody needs. To have love in one hand and laughter in the other.
August Wilson
first off after doing homework for about 3 hours I played air soft with some friends. We got two rounds done when my more responsible friend (and driver) decided that homework was an important part of the day for a college student (he's right of course...) So after doing homework and taking a nap (lol a very good way to avoid homework because most of the time you don't even think about it as you venture around in dream land)
After that I decided that doing something randomly fun for my roomie (who had been more studious then myself) would be a great idea. Then it occurred to me that while doing something non scholarly like, we could cheer up another friend who is currently bed ridden. THEN i happened to text a friend whom i was praying would have some epic experiences today - for whatever reason - God knows why- what i had envisioned didn't happen (actually quite the opposite occurred) So I had the perfect ingredients for a fun filled evening - do something random that will incur plenty of laughter from all three friend - thus hitting 3 birds with one stone.
So in short I planned with my roommate (she has the most amazing ability to take my most hair brained ideas and turn them into feasible realities ) and we hatched a plan of epic proportions. I convinced my somewhat disappointed friend (although he'd never tell you that) to come to our unnamed destination. And texted the bed ridden one to make sure she was up. Now all that was left to be accomplished was actually accomplishing the goal - laughter.
Laughter is the warm sparkling sunbeams to a day (and NO not all sunbeams are warm and sparkly) We all laughed as we teased him about being our prisoner, Lost him in Walmart (or more of he tried to escape) and blindfolded him as we got closer to our destination and finally as we made him "march" through the apartment complex blindfolded. We giggled as we ate ice cream, stole phones, took goofy pictures and make a ridiculous animal cracker movie centering on the theme of the nearest holiday.
It was amazing. Oh but there was one more surprise in it, however this one was for me. More than just my 3 friends were cheered up, I was as well. and Perhaps more so. Because with my cheer, comes a sense of satisfaction that runs deep. I can make people happy - ie not just be a bother or a doormat. It feels good to laugh and for the record I have the most amazing friends :) God is good.
All you need in the world is love and laughter. That's all anybody needs. To have love in one hand and laughter in the other.
August Wilson
Saturday, February 11, 2012
A day
Epic day full of fUn and busyness :) And I am tired yet satisfied... Goodnight :)
"good memories make good friends - Anna Kim
Ps Joel I win :)
"good memories make good friends - Anna Kim
Ps Joel I win :)
Friday, February 10, 2012
Breathing amidst the swift rivers
Breathing:
Breathing is essential no? It's a necessary function of which we "practice" in the womb. With out air we wouldn't be able to function any of the several complicated systems of the human body....
Prayer:
It has been said that Prayer is the breath of the soul. Often we hear stories of people praying when they hit a rough spot in their journeys, yet not so often do we hear of people praying in their daily lives beyond the routine function maybe at meals and sleep time. Why? have we just lost the ability to speak to The Provider of Life? It seems ridiculous when we take time to pause and examine our habits.
This week has been week of prayer on campus. While I have not been faithful in attending meetings mainly due to a conflicting schedule the meetings I have attended (for the most part) have been challenging. How much do i really Pray? or a better question might be how much do I breathe? If there are 2 things I know, its that more prayer hasn't ever hurt anyone and I NEED to Pray more.
Its easy to get caught up in the rhythmic flow of life, and the devil does his best to make sure that flow is swift enough to cause us to forget to talk to the One who can help us achieve our goals. But the plus side is that God came to this crazy river, stepped in and gave His life so that I have a chance to get back to shore. However, not only does He provide a way of escape, even today He wades into my life and reaches out His hand to pull me to shore... He is super amazing... <3
But a prayer that he sends from his heart's deep core.
Paul Laurence Dunbar
Breathing is essential no? It's a necessary function of which we "practice" in the womb. With out air we wouldn't be able to function any of the several complicated systems of the human body....
Prayer:
It has been said that Prayer is the breath of the soul. Often we hear stories of people praying when they hit a rough spot in their journeys, yet not so often do we hear of people praying in their daily lives beyond the routine function maybe at meals and sleep time. Why? have we just lost the ability to speak to The Provider of Life? It seems ridiculous when we take time to pause and examine our habits.
This week has been week of prayer on campus. While I have not been faithful in attending meetings mainly due to a conflicting schedule the meetings I have attended (for the most part) have been challenging. How much do i really Pray? or a better question might be how much do I breathe? If there are 2 things I know, its that more prayer hasn't ever hurt anyone and I NEED to Pray more.
Its easy to get caught up in the rhythmic flow of life, and the devil does his best to make sure that flow is swift enough to cause us to forget to talk to the One who can help us achieve our goals. But the plus side is that God came to this crazy river, stepped in and gave His life so that I have a chance to get back to shore. However, not only does He provide a way of escape, even today He wades into my life and reaches out His hand to pull me to shore... He is super amazing... <3
But a prayer that he sends from his heart's deep core.
Paul Laurence Dunbar
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Sleepy... but with a voice.
1:30 bed times are not healthy... but Conversing with my heavenly Father is... mmm I'm sure these 2 can balance at some point... lol especially if i take more time during daylight hours to chit chat :P Anyways. Today was pretty epic, so enough about last night...
One highlight of the day was Convocation. Its Student week of prayer and while I have been far from faithful about actually attending that, today's AM one nice it was about prayer and such but honestly my favorite part was song service. There is something inspiring about singing with friends and then having the whole student body as well.
In other news, Intro to Ministry was really good today as well. We ended up getting into a discussion on Truth vs Love as far as outreach is concerned. Well I should say they got into a debate. I formed my opinion and then sat back and listened as they overlapped one another, in most cases. Later, a fellow classmate ran into me and encouraged me to speak out more in class. I responded that I learn more from listening but maybe sometime I would. - well even though I suppose it doesn't count to write about it on here, here's my take:
In reaching other people and taking the commission to heart - Love and Truth need to be balanced. They need each other to actually work. - like gears of a machine, the "teeth" of each interlock to better make our evangelism effective.
You can't just force truth to people and expect them to accept it - Read your dusty history books if you don't believe me. Check out colonial eras and various native people who "Christians" forced into belief. Or take a look at at the more modern example of the rebellious teenager who is fighting against all the years of forced repetitious (yet empty) ceremonies. Truth without love is bondage.
Now then on the other hand, the "all we need is love" theory doesn't work either. (reference the hippies and other flower children movements) If all we needed was love, then God would not have had to DIE to show us the truth of the destructive/darkness of sin. He could have just loved us back to Himself without the unveiling of the truth of our perilous situation.
In the question of truth and love, we as a lost human race need both. They work together, despite their surface differences. Just as God is full of both Justice and Grace (a whole another topic in itself), we have to present both the love and truth when pointing people to Him. Nature was created by God, and nature is naturally balanced, so is it really any surprise that He would use the same principle when setting up basic principles of His church?
Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.
Thomas Merton
One highlight of the day was Convocation. Its Student week of prayer and while I have been far from faithful about actually attending that, today's AM one nice it was about prayer and such but honestly my favorite part was song service. There is something inspiring about singing with friends and then having the whole student body as well.
In other news, Intro to Ministry was really good today as well. We ended up getting into a discussion on Truth vs Love as far as outreach is concerned. Well I should say they got into a debate. I formed my opinion and then sat back and listened as they overlapped one another, in most cases. Later, a fellow classmate ran into me and encouraged me to speak out more in class. I responded that I learn more from listening but maybe sometime I would. - well even though I suppose it doesn't count to write about it on here, here's my take:
In reaching other people and taking the commission to heart - Love and Truth need to be balanced. They need each other to actually work. - like gears of a machine, the "teeth" of each interlock to better make our evangelism effective.
You can't just force truth to people and expect them to accept it - Read your dusty history books if you don't believe me. Check out colonial eras and various native people who "Christians" forced into belief. Or take a look at at the more modern example of the rebellious teenager who is fighting against all the years of forced repetitious (yet empty) ceremonies. Truth without love is bondage.
Now then on the other hand, the "all we need is love" theory doesn't work either. (reference the hippies and other flower children movements) If all we needed was love, then God would not have had to DIE to show us the truth of the destructive/darkness of sin. He could have just loved us back to Himself without the unveiling of the truth of our perilous situation.
In the question of truth and love, we as a lost human race need both. They work together, despite their surface differences. Just as God is full of both Justice and Grace (a whole another topic in itself), we have to present both the love and truth when pointing people to Him. Nature was created by God, and nature is naturally balanced, so is it really any surprise that He would use the same principle when setting up basic principles of His church?
Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.
Thomas Merton
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Happy *
Wow what an amazing day :)
However before I ramble about today's sunshine let me say this - the epic-ness of today would have been nothing without the trials and trouble of the day before. Something about yesterday was hauntingly familiar of a time I do my best to forget - lots of painful memories being used as darts from the stupid devil and copious amounts of perceived apathy from people I have come to care about - Anyways i don't want to dwell on it because it is the past and it is done, but it made today all the brighter :)
Today started with a super early, but really satisfying pray group with the SALT team... It was nice to come together and just be able to lay out some of our prayer request and then instead of just saying we would pray - actually taking action and praying for those burdens. Then I had a impromptu run to work - beautiful sunrise by the way. Then some Amazing words of Affirmation from a professor on the floor that i clean (lol I'm sure my eyes were sparkling at this point.)
All morning my Father (in heaven) and I had been conversing about several topics and He had me go talk to some key people and now I think i know where He wants me for this summer, andddddd I'm starting to consider a major change... but i have a year and a half to decided so no rush there :)
Later i got to play racquetball with some friends, with plenty of laughter in between rallies. Encouraged multiple people via random phone calls through out the day and over all i just feel really satisfied with my work today (both school and ministry)
He Has some Seriously EPIC plans... :)
“When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.”
~ Peter Marshall
However before I ramble about today's sunshine let me say this - the epic-ness of today would have been nothing without the trials and trouble of the day before. Something about yesterday was hauntingly familiar of a time I do my best to forget - lots of painful memories being used as darts from the stupid devil and copious amounts of perceived apathy from people I have come to care about - Anyways i don't want to dwell on it because it is the past and it is done, but it made today all the brighter :)
Today started with a super early, but really satisfying pray group with the SALT team... It was nice to come together and just be able to lay out some of our prayer request and then instead of just saying we would pray - actually taking action and praying for those burdens. Then I had a impromptu run to work - beautiful sunrise by the way. Then some Amazing words of Affirmation from a professor on the floor that i clean (lol I'm sure my eyes were sparkling at this point.)
All morning my Father (in heaven) and I had been conversing about several topics and He had me go talk to some key people and now I think i know where He wants me for this summer, andddddd I'm starting to consider a major change... but i have a year and a half to decided so no rush there :)
Later i got to play racquetball with some friends, with plenty of laughter in between rallies. Encouraged multiple people via random phone calls through out the day and over all i just feel really satisfied with my work today (both school and ministry)
He Has some Seriously EPIC plans... :)
“When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.”
~ Peter Marshall
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Rhythm of life
Music, Its everywhere. Ear buds, speakers, super sound systems in cars. Everyday is echoed as various beats and tones filter through.
And honestly I love it.
Music can do so much to set a mood or a tone, and not only of the one listening. For example if I put headphones one and have them obviously hanging from my ears, most people will leave me alone, allowing me to become invisible of sorts. ( This is extremely entertaining when there is low or no music playing so that one can hear all the various conversations that would otherwise be altered if the thought occurred that someone might be listening. terrible but still funny...)
A friend sent me a link the other day to a song called "headphones". While it wasn't quite tuned to my rhythmic tastes, I enjoyed the main theme: no matter how hard or bad life seems you can put in your head phones and smile.
No matter the day nor my mood, if i put in my headphones, pick HAPPY music, and then tune out my frustrations, I can come back refreshed and with a more positive out look. - That being said, they key is in the choice of music and how much one tunes out the world. There is a time for everything, a time for sad music, and a time for loud music, the wisdom is found in knowing when.
"Music is what Feelings sound like" ~ Unknown
And honestly I love it.
Music can do so much to set a mood or a tone, and not only of the one listening. For example if I put headphones one and have them obviously hanging from my ears, most people will leave me alone, allowing me to become invisible of sorts. ( This is extremely entertaining when there is low or no music playing so that one can hear all the various conversations that would otherwise be altered if the thought occurred that someone might be listening. terrible but still funny...)
A friend sent me a link the other day to a song called "headphones". While it wasn't quite tuned to my rhythmic tastes, I enjoyed the main theme: no matter how hard or bad life seems you can put in your head phones and smile.
No matter the day nor my mood, if i put in my headphones, pick HAPPY music, and then tune out my frustrations, I can come back refreshed and with a more positive out look. - That being said, they key is in the choice of music and how much one tunes out the world. There is a time for everything, a time for sad music, and a time for loud music, the wisdom is found in knowing when.
"Music is what Feelings sound like" ~ Unknown
Monday, February 6, 2012
Busy busy week ahead
So I have a whole blog outline in my mind, however I do NOT have time. how sad. \
Anyways today was busy.tomorrow is forecast is busy with a chance of insanity. Maybe by Wednesday I might have time to blurt out my thoughts...
In other news, 2 tests tomorrow (Psych and Geography) so wish me luck! (better yet say a prayer...) <3
"I don't Suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it" - Bumper sticker.
Anyways today was busy.tomorrow is forecast is busy with a chance of insanity. Maybe by Wednesday I might have time to blurt out my thoughts...
In other news, 2 tests tomorrow (Psych and Geography) so wish me luck! (better yet say a prayer...) <3
"I don't Suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it" - Bumper sticker.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Game time.
So yeah its super bowl Sunday :) millions of people gather to watch teams of crazy big guys face each other and fight over a little pig skinned ball. Kinda ridiculous when put that way, nevertheless it is a highlight of the american culture.
Today it was the Giants vs the Patriots. I was for the patriots, as were most of the people at the party I attended, however our opinions apparently didn't count as the giants won in the end. (to the joy of the minority)
Over all it was great way to avoid homework, eat unhealthy food, and have plenty of time for joking and laughter :) Anyways I must get more sleep to start my week with so I can attempt to avoid being as dead come Wednesday :)
Today it was the Giants vs the Patriots. I was for the patriots, as were most of the people at the party I attended, however our opinions apparently didn't count as the giants won in the end. (to the joy of the minority)
Over all it was great way to avoid homework, eat unhealthy food, and have plenty of time for joking and laughter :) Anyways I must get more sleep to start my week with so I can attempt to avoid being as dead come Wednesday :)
Practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice makes perfect.~~ VINCE LOMBARDI
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Exhaustion (but the good kind)
Have you ever done something physically exhausting, yet extremely rewarding?
Have you ever been backpacking? Imagine with me you pick up your necessities, and start backpacking up to the highest peak in your area. Its a nice clear day with just the right amount of a breeze to keep you comfortable. Finally after scrambling up rocks and tromping in the dirt you reach the top. Looking down you gaze at all the rivers, hills and little towns below. Hikes like this can really cause a person to put life in a different perspective.
Experiences like this weekend can do the same.
This weekend on my Intro to Ministry retreat, I had to struggle and scramble, I got to enjoy cool breezes and shoulder various loads, but the end was best, I got to enjoy a view. Imagine being able to look back at your life and see (like literally SEE) the pain, and the joy, the good and the bad. And realize that in the end, God has used it for good (for some things), and then realize that as far as the other things go, by faith I can and do, choose to believe that He Will use it for good. This view and new perspective was amazing. <3
Ah and just like backpacking, after all the thrills and joys of the adventure I AM Exhausted, so goodnight.
"When we encounter storms, Jesus asks us, "Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?" Each storm is an invitation to trust Jesus, to remember His care" Rich Vincent
Have you ever been backpacking? Imagine with me you pick up your necessities, and start backpacking up to the highest peak in your area. Its a nice clear day with just the right amount of a breeze to keep you comfortable. Finally after scrambling up rocks and tromping in the dirt you reach the top. Looking down you gaze at all the rivers, hills and little towns below. Hikes like this can really cause a person to put life in a different perspective.
Experiences like this weekend can do the same.
This weekend on my Intro to Ministry retreat, I had to struggle and scramble, I got to enjoy cool breezes and shoulder various loads, but the end was best, I got to enjoy a view. Imagine being able to look back at your life and see (like literally SEE) the pain, and the joy, the good and the bad. And realize that in the end, God has used it for good (for some things), and then realize that as far as the other things go, by faith I can and do, choose to believe that He Will use it for good. This view and new perspective was amazing. <3
Ah and just like backpacking, after all the thrills and joys of the adventure I AM Exhausted, so goodnight.
"When we encounter storms, Jesus asks us, "Why are you afraid? Have you still no faith?" Each storm is an invitation to trust Jesus, to remember His care" Rich Vincent
Thursday, February 2, 2012
To look back, in order to look forward
I LOVE HISTORY! Its amazing and that is a fact.
Today i took an american History test (which wasn't quite as amazing) but the other more history focused activity that I did today was watching a Mel Johnson perform "Fredrick Douglas: In the Shadow of Slavery" It was amazing. I can honestly say I enjoyed his re-enactment more than Douglas's memoir - That NEVER happens. Books are as a general rule MUCH better, but as he came to center stage and spoke of compromise and its relation to Progress...
its an interesting thought. the idea of going backwards to get forward. In relationships often its a give and take dance. Marriage for example - One person grows up with an ideal of perfect parenting etc. The other maybe had it a bit rougher and has ideas but no background to work off of. Both are dedicated to the progress of their relationship (thus the wedding bells) but it will take some compromise to reach their goal.
Compromise seems to have a negative connotation. Its abstract yet Historically it seems to be the only way that we even have a country that is "(a) government of the people, by the people and for the people shall not perish from the earth" (Gettysburg address). One of my favorite adventures (one that I would LOVE to repeat) was when i went to Washington DC it was amazing to walk through the hundreds of exhibits of history that echoed with American pride. Our past has been one of darkness and terrible things but I believe God has had his hand on this country. I am proud to be an American and i Love this country in which I call Home. But there is no way we would have gotten here today without some compromise. If we had made a change from British colony to a Leading Nation in a day, and without struggle, we would have been too weak to stand. A tree does not go from a seedling to an oak overnight. Instead it works with the basic principles or laws of life and through the compromise of time it raises against gravity
Life is about learning. Education is a gift. my goal is to show my worth and be apart of the solutions, not the problems.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
What to pray?
Monday in ceramics class as I mentioned before, we were having to repeatedly throw our clay. Now then as we were doing that one soft spoken girl had hers looking nice and in perfect proportions, the teacher came over and asked the dreaded question, " is it stuck?" She hadn't tried to pull it off yet and responded, "I pray not!" as she attempted to peel it off the table.
My teacher responded "that's a silly thing to pray for." then, as he met my eyes he added " I'm sure He has more important things"
I dropped my gaze and continued working, but his words echoed in my mind.
"Father," I prayed silently, " I suppose You do have more important things to do, but I enjoy talking to You about all the little and big things..."
He reminded me about my algebra 2 teacher in high school, Mr peacock. Mr. Peacock always told us that God was there for us, always and that He cared about the little things. Math isn't my best class and honestly I did anything in class to through him topic but it was all in fun. I had a straight habit of actually getting my homework done in that class, mainly due to my amazing Roomate who always and still does continue to challenge me to do the unpleasant but necessary things in life. However one specific night it just didn't happen, I tried to do it throughout he day but it was impossible. I panicked because my grades were particularly important to me That semester and I knew that even missing this one assignment completely would hurt my grade. Out of random desperation I prayed that my grade wouldn't suffer too bad. And then promptly forgot and continued worrying. I got to class that afternoon and to my shock Mr. Peacock had left his paper with the answers That we would have used to grade our papers. After rummaging through his bag for the 4th time he exasperatedly exclaimed "Okay guys who prayed for a delay today?!"
Then it hit me, I had, not directly but that was the answer to my prayer!
I was able to do my homework and make a good grade.
Fast forewarn a few years. I am in intro to ministry class, one of my favorites . I had worked hard to finish up my IDAK test and felt really relieved at being prepared for class. Then came that awkward moment when everyone else is handing in a paper That I was not prepared for. My heart sank. I low this class and the teacher but he has a solid no late policy. I has not written that response paper and it was not going to treat my grade kindly. I rapidly pulled out the forgotten paper and started madly Scribbling my response . Even if it was horrible I figured it could be something. Class started and I finally put it aside and tried to think of a way to turn it in as close to classes ending as possible. Instantly a billion made up excuses flooded my mind, but as I pondered them I knew that I would not be ok with the guilt that would indue the telling of such a story. I settled with my fate and decided to do what I could. As class continued, the professor asked us to turn to page I4, I promptly turned there but then sat in shock as a student pointed out that several students couldn't get that page because it was on the back of the one they had just turned in. I listens in silent excitement as the teacher gave then back their pages, and extended the due date.
Now then you can be the judge, does God care about the little, seemingly unimportant things?
I believe He does. In the grand scheme of thing this is just one little seemingly unimportant planet and He died for it.
"There are thoughts which are prayers. There are moments when, whatever the posture Of the body, the soul is on its knees." ~ Victor Hugo.
My teacher responded "that's a silly thing to pray for." then, as he met my eyes he added " I'm sure He has more important things"
I dropped my gaze and continued working, but his words echoed in my mind.
"Father," I prayed silently, " I suppose You do have more important things to do, but I enjoy talking to You about all the little and big things..."
He reminded me about my algebra 2 teacher in high school, Mr peacock. Mr. Peacock always told us that God was there for us, always and that He cared about the little things. Math isn't my best class and honestly I did anything in class to through him topic but it was all in fun. I had a straight habit of actually getting my homework done in that class, mainly due to my amazing Roomate who always and still does continue to challenge me to do the unpleasant but necessary things in life. However one specific night it just didn't happen, I tried to do it throughout he day but it was impossible. I panicked because my grades were particularly important to me That semester and I knew that even missing this one assignment completely would hurt my grade. Out of random desperation I prayed that my grade wouldn't suffer too bad. And then promptly forgot and continued worrying. I got to class that afternoon and to my shock Mr. Peacock had left his paper with the answers That we would have used to grade our papers. After rummaging through his bag for the 4th time he exasperatedly exclaimed "Okay guys who prayed for a delay today?!"
Then it hit me, I had, not directly but that was the answer to my prayer!
I was able to do my homework and make a good grade.
Fast forewarn a few years. I am in intro to ministry class, one of my favorites . I had worked hard to finish up my IDAK test and felt really relieved at being prepared for class. Then came that awkward moment when everyone else is handing in a paper That I was not prepared for. My heart sank. I low this class and the teacher but he has a solid no late policy. I has not written that response paper and it was not going to treat my grade kindly. I rapidly pulled out the forgotten paper and started madly Scribbling my response . Even if it was horrible I figured it could be something. Class started and I finally put it aside and tried to think of a way to turn it in as close to classes ending as possible. Instantly a billion made up excuses flooded my mind, but as I pondered them I knew that I would not be ok with the guilt that would indue the telling of such a story. I settled with my fate and decided to do what I could. As class continued, the professor asked us to turn to page I4, I promptly turned there but then sat in shock as a student pointed out that several students couldn't get that page because it was on the back of the one they had just turned in. I listens in silent excitement as the teacher gave then back their pages, and extended the due date.
Now then you can be the judge, does God care about the little, seemingly unimportant things?
I believe He does. In the grand scheme of thing this is just one little seemingly unimportant planet and He died for it.
"There are thoughts which are prayers. There are moments when, whatever the posture Of the body, the soul is on its knees." ~ Victor Hugo.
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