I don't tend to like the day before my birthday... why? because i find myself reflecting and thinking - nothing wrong with that really, but it does seem to put me in more of serious mood. Pondering over my choices, remembering my adventures, and dreaming of what is just around the bend, are pretty much the tasks of my mind every July 31st. Today's thinking order is extra large because I find myself not only reflecting on this last year, but rather on the last 6 years of teen life. Some things, I am proud of - others? well... Biggest room in the world is the room for improvement (or so my dad always says)...
"Living a teenage dream" - mmm well, some of it was a dream I suppose, first love (errr more of a "like" but I was naive enough to think it was love and reality is really only perspective...), mission trips, Graduating from Highschool, surviving 2 years of College, making memories with wonderful friends and super epic adventures galore.
Other parts are more nightmare ish, moving out, stress of balancing (well attempting to balance), 7:30 Gen. Chemistry class, Adventures gone wrong, broken heart, missed opportunities, and lonely/ lost days.
Some Adventures? getting lost in National forests - Canvassing - Caving - Rock climbing - Getting lost in a foreign country (several in fact)- attacked by Yellow Jackets - Car chaos - Skiing- Backpacking - Siblings (taking care of them (BEST pregnacy prevention ever) and then having lots of fun with them as well) - exploring my past, well more of reacquainting with it, and scheming my future...
One candle on the water through these years has been my Heavenly Father. I started out my teenage years with a mission trip to Dominican Republic - Changed my life and really helped set the tone for most of the teen years... Service - what a beautiful concept - one gets to reach out and help others, while simultaneously applying a soothing balm to ones own scars/hurts... I cant say I have been perfect in my relationship with Him (far FAR from it really) but I can say with confidence that I KNOW he has been perfect in dealing with my hormone driven moods and at times serious ill temperament toward Him and life in general at times... Through it all he has patiently watched me grow and tenderly worked on healing the pain - still a long journey ahead but at least now I can look back and start to understand some of the past as we carry on to the Future...
Cheers for a day of reflection...
Tomorrow - while it is significant it is probably not all that its hyped up to be. Yeah I will be 20, but in reality I will just still be me...
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